I’ll never forget the profound lesson I got from my experience with psilocybin mushrooms. I was apprehensive at first but curious and excited at the same time. I have awakened from my dream state of separateness to the Oneness I have found in Unconditional Love. I wanted to know more about the Oneness. I wanted to understand. That was my intention as I consumed the shrooms with tea and toast. As I swallowed down the shrooms I thought to myself, “There, I’ve past the point of no return.“
Inward: The Darkness
It wasn’t quite an hour after consumption that I felt compelled to lock myself inside the bathroom with the lights off so that I can give the mushrooms my undistracted attention. My mind was open and I was ready to receive my message. It was quiet and completely dark; I was focussed. I waited for something to say something but nothing came. Maybe I expected God to show up with all the answers but the harder I tried to listen, the louder the silence got. I whispered, “Hello? Are you there?“
The lack of response was frustrating after such a big build up of anxious anticipation. I was there to get an encounter and I’ll be damned if I don’t get one.
I thought to myself, If God won’t talk to me then maybe the Darkness will. So I called out to the darkness and still no response. I remembered when we were kids, we’d play this game called Bloody Mary where you look into a dark mirror and call out the name, Bloody Mary. She would suddenly appear in the mirror sending all the kids running away screaming, LOL. With a sure failsafe attempt, I turned to the mirror and called out to the mushrooms. Bloody Mary never showed up. Was I being stood up by the mushrooms? I was determined. Surely, the bathtub would have something in it that would want to talk to me in the dark. I carefully walked over to the tub, slowly and anxiously pulled open the curtain… and… nothing again. Now my growing frustration was turning into anger and I demanded my experience.
I then was prompted to open the door to the bathroom closet. Now this was a big, dark walk-in closet. I walked slowly to the closet, extended my hand to the door knob to open it. As I opened the door, I poked my head into the darkness of the closet and whispered, “Are you in here?”
I was still not getting an answer and I lost it. My chastisement of the mushrooms rang into the darkness of the closet: You’re nothing but a big fake. You can’t even live up to your own hype. You’re a socially awkward calamity; nothing but an underachieving failure. A big disappointment and a waste of time. I cursed and condemned the darkness!
Love always meets us where we’re at and it knew exactly where I was at. While I screamed these hateful obscenities into the darkness, I noticed from the corner of my eye, a dark shadow of a creature sitting crouched in the near corner of the closet. The shaken creature had its arms covering its head like it was trying to protect itself from my angry barrage of criticism. Suddenly, I became overwhelmed with compassion for it. I felt sorry for the creature and wanted to comfort it. I then heard as it were a narrator’s voice that said, “You wanted to know about the Oneness.” I instantly realized that the dark creature in the corner of that closet was ME. The hateful names I hurled into the darkness were the very things I condemned myself for. I knew I needed to show myself mercy and kindness. Compassion welled up inside and I cried as I released myself from these thoughts of inadequacy and embraced myself with Unconditional Love.
Lesson: Love yourself unconditionally. Go inside and embrace your darkness. Forgive yourself and discover Unconditional Love inside yourself, for yourself. Know that the Darkness within WANTS to be part of the Oneness and the only way this can happen is if we allow ourselves to embrace it with the light of our Love, empathy and compassion. Darkness is always swallowed up in the Light. It is this Unconditional Love we discover for ourselves on the INSIDE that will become the light and energy source we use to love others with, unconditionally on the OUTSIDE.
OUTWARD: The Weed and The Aphid
The wisdom of the mushrooms did not disappoint. Embracing my own darkness inward and finding Unconditional Love for myself was a lesson I’ll never forget. Our Darkness WANTS to be part of the Oneness. Got it! I then felt prompted to go outside and feel the breeze in my face. I thought I had received my lesson for the day but the shrooms had more lessons in store. Hold on to your seats, this ain’t no ordinary ride.
As I walked outside to greet the breezy sunshine, I noticed across the yard was a tall weed by the fence that kept it upright. It was an eyesore but Ive been too lazy to pull it up. I made my way toward the weed and the next thing I knew, my arm was around the weed and I was talking with it like it was an old friend. I heard that narrative voice again say, “You wanted to know about the Oneness.” I must be going crazy. I was self-conscious because there was an apartment building full of windows facing me. What if someone saw me talking to this weed?, I thought. I was aware that I was still on a mushroom trip. As crazy as it sounds, I suddenly felt a very close kinship with this weed I was determined to destroy.
I then found myself mesmerized by a small, almost see-through aphid sitting on one of the leaves of the weed. I became focussed and fixated on the aphid and in an instant, I BECAME AN APHID on the leaf. I walked along the leaf with this other aphid, as an aphid; and I took on the perspective of the aphid. I remember how the landscape of the leaf curved out of sight and the hairs of the weed standing tall all around us. I said to the aphid, “Let’s check out what’s around the curve of this leaf.” As we began to take our aphidic journey together, I was instantly back in my human form with my arm around the weed.
I respectfully excused myself from the weed as I took my arm back. I contemplatively walked away from the weed to make my way back to my apartment and that’s when I heard the weed say to me, “Thank you Love.”
Lesson: Everything is One. This “Oneness” flows through the interconnectedness and interdependency that we all share. The collective whole is literally the shared consciousness of the Universe. Unconditional Love is a byproduct of perspective. We need to understand the perspective of others so that we can love them unconditionally.
Lesson: We ARE Love. As I walked away from the weed, it said to me, “Thank you Love.” It called ME Love. It reinforced in me that I AM the Source of all my actions. I Am Light. I Am Darkness. I Am ALL of it. All is One and I was part of that Oneness. When I spared the weed it’s life, I manifested my true nature, Unconditional Love. I had compassion for the Aphid that depended on the weed, that depended on me. ALL IS ONE. All IS LOVE “Thank you Love!“